Today Mr Wench and I had a long talk and came to the decision that once the current tribunal case is over, we will no longer attempt to claim the benefits that I am due.
This might seem like a strange decision to some, but it comes down to sheer practicality. So far I have been dragged all over London to medical assessments, interviews and work related advice sessions. As I am unable to walk very far, and struggle to use public transport, every one of these meetings have required Mr Wench to take time off work in order to accompany me. I have waded through endless forms that in all honesty are intentionally worded to confuse, each time draining my already limited energy and concentration for no visible result.
And each time one of these meetings is arranged or a new letter or form arrives, my silly ME ridden brain gets all stressed and makes my symptoms a lot worse for a few weeks. It just isn't worth the fight. The limited amount of money that I could possibly receive if they ever agree (and after more than a years worth of fighting that does begin to seem unlikely) is unlikely to ever compensate for the money we are losing due to Mr Wench missing work and the travel and recovery expenses of attending all these interviews. I would be financially and medically better off by paying the government the couple of hundred pounds each year to cover my National Insurance contributions and keeping my health stable.
But this is where I have to ask myself why we even have these benefits. I could have picked an illness that I do not have and lied my way through interviews gaining much more than I ever can by being honest. Shouldn't these things be designed to help those that need it rather than rewarding those that don't?
All I know is that I just do not have the energy to waste on fighting a losing battle.